Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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