I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
