She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
