my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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