The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
