I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
