I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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