It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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