Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
