Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
