We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Farmville is her only friend.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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