That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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