Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
