I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
FUCK WHALES
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
