and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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