glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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