I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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