This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This house was built for laser tag.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
