nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize