what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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