This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
