I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
