so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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