Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
