You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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