quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
