What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
