i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
