Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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