I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
