O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
