In the future we'll all be gay
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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