I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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