I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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