she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
