AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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