yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
