Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize