I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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