I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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