I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
