That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
