Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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