and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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