I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
