i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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