you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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