tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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