Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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