do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
