Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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