i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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