so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
