Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
