I'm drive I can fine osifer
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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