I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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