I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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