I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
