I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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