Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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