I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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