Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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