thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
