dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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